I used to be very hardline about people calling themselves a feminist. I believed that if you didn’t use the label, then you were either a) ignorant, b) a bigot, or c) just didn’t understand feminism that well.
I’ve changed from this position a lot. If you call yourself a feminist and don’t think about how the feminist movement at large has been racist, homophobic, transphobic, and oppressive in other ways, you’re not doing a good job at being critical. The Third Wave aims to be more inclusive, and the voices of those who have previously been oppressed by white cis feminists have become more vocal in feminism, but if your anger is directed at those who don’t use the label because of such oppression and NOT at feminists who perpetuate it, your frustration is horribly misguided. Don’t just ask why people don’t join the movement, but why the movement itself is pushing people away. Otherwise, you’re just being oppressive yourself.